You Make Me Numb

You make me numb when silence becomes your preferred response,  

And distance draws lines between us,  

Lines that don’t bring our bodies closer but multiply like shadows.  

You make me numb when love isn’t your first language,  

And the rational equations of your thoughts yield only infinite rage and noise.  

You make me numb when, after a hurtful moment,  

There’s no pause, only a reactive impulse that leads us to uncharted territory,  

Places we’ve never learned to navigate back from.  

You make me numb when your understanding is as narrow as a door refusing to open,

Making me feel trapped in a world where communication falters and connection fades,

You make me numb when I am reaching out in vain, hoping for a spark of insight that never ignites, ultimately creating a void that deepens each time you turn away without truly hearing my words.

When all that matters is the detail before you,  

While the vital ability to see the bigger picture becomes a mere habit.  

You make me numb when your love is strong and loud,  

But spoken in a language I struggle to grasp,  

When my words are dismissed before they can even take flight,  

Before they are spoken, before they are recited.  

You make me numb when all I desire is to feel deeply and vividly for you,  

While you seem intent on hearing only your own voice,  

Ignoring the quiet whispers of my suffering, slowly being extinguished.  

You make me numb when I see my dreams of understanding shatter  

Under the weight of your indifference.  

You make me numb when I long to feel the most…

x, Mj..